Zombie Apocalypse: Or I’m one lucky bitch.

So I finally got around to reading World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War and I’ll tell you something, unless it’s the Second Coming of Jesus Christ Himself, if the dead start walking, I’m fucking killing myself.

World War Z is a series of interviews with survivors of the WWZ, civilian, military etc. It’s organized to tell the stories about the beginning, the middle, end, and rebuilding afterwards. So on the one hand, you know that everyone you’re reading about survives. On the other hand, it’s fucking scary to think about what happens in the Zombie Apocalypse. It’s terrifying to think about what the hell would happen if civilization fell apart.

See, I live in the western world of the 21^st century. I’m in a PhD program, I’ve got a Master’s from an Ivy League school – so, I might not be personally rolling in the dough, but in many ways I am the elite of elite in the damn world. I can rest assured that my water is potable, and if it ain’t, I can get a filter system. I can get aspirin and emergency medical service (although I might not be able to afford the latter, I can definitely get it). Most days I don’t think of myself as that lucky. I’ve got enough debt to own a house in some places and all I got was an education, I don’t have a dishwasher. Wah wah fucking wah.

My point is: I whine about not having a dishwasher. I can’t begin to fathom the social fallout of the Zombie Apocalypse. My 11 year old goddaughter is totally into zombies and is patiently awaiting WWZ so that she can test her zombie survival skills. I am not so amused. See, the Zombie Apocalypse isn’t going to be all fun and games. It’s going to be blood and brains and piss everywhere. It’s going to be the collapse of civilization as we know it, and people will die because civilization as we know it has divided labor so well that most of us in the western world wouldn’t know how to hunt, kill & butcher an animal, determine which plants & mushrooms are edible, nevermind knowing how to build a secure shelter, repair a car, or shoot a gun and hit a zombie in the brain.

I’m really fucking scared of Zombie Apocalypse. I don’t think it’s especially likely that the dead will start walking and want to eat us all, spreading infection and doom exponentially. No. I’m scared of whatever fucked up shit would happen if America ever really faced a war within the borders, thermonuclear apocalypse, famine, drought and/or environmental devastation leading to Mad Max insanity. I’m soft. Oh SURE. I’m a Girl Scout. I know how to set up a tent and CPR and shit, but I’ve never fired a gun, I’ve never really been in a physical fight, I can’t even run a 10 minute mile and nevermind climbing anything.

So I’ve picked up my gym pace. I’m committed. And you know what, when I hit the treadmill, I envision a) Zombie Apocalypse or b) The Rise of the Machines. Sometimes I envision zombies and the T-1000 teaming up to get me.

In conclusion:

World War Z is a scary book, and it gave me some really messed up dreams. I’m afraid of this war/apocalypse/end of civilization thing. This motivates me. “Run fat ass, RUN.” I also wonder if I should learn some more practical skills, like shooting guns, fighting, building, sewing, hunting etc.

And if the Zombie Apocalypse happens, I’m gonna bend over and kiss my sweet ass goodbye, then off myself. In the meantime, I’ll try to remember how seriously lucky I am that my biggest problems are student loans, picking wine for my wedding, and lack of dishwasher.

United Airlines & Passengers with Disabilities

I’m just posting a link to a copy of a note to United Airlines Customer service (I refuse to link to the bastards).

It seems  that United airlines treated a passenger with a disability – who happens to be young and whose disability is not readily apparent – like total shit.

She writes:

The wheelchair left me off at the door and after making sure I had all of my belongings, he turned around and left. I boarded the plane and made my way back to my aisle seat where I set down my special seat cushion and lumbar brace before looking around for a flight attendant to help me put my luggage in the overhead compartment. The attendant standing in the front section of economy was a blonde woman probably in her late 40s-50s and I called her over to explain that I needed her assistance because I wasn’t capable of lifting my luggage due to my disability. To my surprise, the attendant rejected my request while excusing it by saying: “If I helped everyone do that all day then MY back would be killing me by the end of the day!” I asked her how I was supposed to get my luggage stowed and her answer was: “You’ll just have to wait for someone from your row to come back here and ask them to give you a hand.” When I asked what would happen if no one would, her response to me was: “Well, normally a passenger is around to overhear something like this and they’ll offer to help with it on their own. You’ll just have to ask someone when they get back here.” Then she turned back around and went up to the front seats where she waited to “assist” other passengers.

and that’s just the start! Click the link above to read the letter.

And fuck United.

Put the Motive in Motivation!!

I have been trying to find decent motivation for and attention to my work for the better part of this year. After I advanced to candidacy, I pretty much went on brain freeze. Oh sure, I had two good weeks right after advancing where I was all EXCITED and shit… but now I feel like I’m dragging my ass to the books, taping my eyelids open only to discover that at the end of the day, I’ve managed to half-heartedly read a chapter of something instead of finishing the book I meant to finish.

The isolation is getting to me. I think I need to plan more lunches or coffees – something to force a schedule, someone to be accountable to. “Did you finish those books you were reading”

Ultimately, I have to find the motive to motivate myself. WHY IN THE HELL AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?

I know the reasons: I love what I do. I read and think and talk about it for a living. I am actually committed to the idea of public higher education, to education at the undergrad – lower division, even – level. As I said before, I really do believe that my research has value and part of that value is my teaching… SO

GET OFF YOUR ASS, GET A COFFEE AND GET TO WORK!!

I just requested summer teaching, so maybe I’ll get to test out all my fucking brilliant teaching skills and ideas and come up with the perfect survey course.

Some more meaningful bogging is in the works, I just want to get through some work first. *sigh*

On Being Busy

It has certainly been a while since I last posted around here, and I wish that wasn’t the case. Here’s a brief update:

1. I got engaged in August. Long story short, he asked me “How’s next summer?” We’re getting married next summer back in Home County and are very excited, but a little bit stressed about the planning.

2. I love-hate my boobs. They’re enormous, but the Rack of Doom (thanks Kate Harding for this term) just doesn’t fit in and stupid store bought dress, and frankly, neither does my fat ass. Why? Because apparently fat girls don’t get to shop off the rack – and I am totally not about to put half down (non-refundable) to order a dress is a size I haven’t tried on. So I’m considering dressmakers.

3. As a result, dissertation research is going slow. I had hoped to have a chapter done by now and I don’t. Boooo!

4. My (university owned) apartment has a water leak in one of the closets, and termites in the ceiling trusses – or maybe HAD – the termite guy is coming today.

5. I once worked as a nanny for a Jewish family and had a discussion with the father about the smashing of a glass at a Jewish wedding. M- said almost nonchalantly that it served as a reminder of the destruction of the Temple and earthly suffering, and as a reminder to participate in Tikkun Olam, the healing or mending of the world. I like  these explanations, and as my dissertation is largely about the destruction of the Temple, I am considering adding this to our ceremony. I am not sure how my fiance will react to this proposition.

(NB although I am a scholar of religion, and even to a certain extent, of ancient Judaism, I am not actually familiar with the development of this tradition.)

6. I am struggling with another fellowship application. I’m trying to abstract my diss to 200 words (!!) THAT’S NOT FAIR and I’m trying to find the most eloquent way to express the relevance of my project to the study of religious values (which has not been required of any other application I’ve submitted so far).  **sigh**

7. In the event that any readers of In the Pink have clicked here after reading my comments, Hello!

And with, that, I’ll leave you again, until I have something more substantial to say.

OH.

8. PUBLIC OPTION NOW! Either it’s a moral imperative to provide health care to everyone, or it isn’t. I think it is.

9. Watch Zombieland!! If you’re lucky, it might still be out in theaters, but you might have to Netflix it

10. Also, Roman Polanski is an as ass nugget who deserves to be prosecuted.

MJ Memorial Service

Yes, I watched it. Yes, I cried. Yes, I saw Paris and yes she made me cry.

In spite of how much his music makes me happy, Michael Jackson was a terribly sad,  unwell person in the end. I find it terribly sad that all the joy he brought to the world in his music & dance was at the expense of any sense of normalcy in his whole life. I feel sad for him and I feel sad for his children.

And this concludes the media fiasco (I hope).

Michael Jackson

I was a high schooler at the height of Nirvana’s fame.

I don’t remember the first time I heard a Nirvana song. I don’t remember when I was when I heard that Kurt Cobain had died. I didn’t cry. His death didn’t phase me at all. I didn’t even own a Nirvana cd until I was almost 30.

I absolutely remember when my parents brought home the Thriller album on vinyl. I doubt it was the first time I heard Michael Jackson. It was the same say they got Culture Club’s Colour By Numbers. When my parents asked me which one we should listen to first, I picked Culture Club. My mom asked me if I knew that the person on the cover (i.e. Boy George) was a boy and not a girl. I remember studying the Thriller album cover. I remember being allowed to watch the full version of the Thriller video as a scary movie.

I had this poster.

I never really identified myself as a Michael Jackson fan. I guess I just sort of assumed that everybody liked his music. He was a talented performer and he had an incalculable impact on music in the last half century.

I don’t remember where I was I when I heard that Kurt Cobain died, but I will probably always remember where I was when I heard that Michael Jackson died.

I was working in the library at Beach U, taking a break from editing the web page I’d been assigned to create. I read TMZ’s announcement that Michael Jackson had died, and then waited and waited to get “reliable” information. My immediate reaction? “OH MY GOD, MICHAEL JACKSON DIED!!” I guess I thought he’s just be around, like he had been for my entire life.

The Way You Make Me Feel and Beat It are probably my all time favorite Michael Jackson songs.

I hope he’s found peace.

Why be an academic asshole?

I found a stupid article* by a stupid scholar* about what I was planning on writing in my stupid dissertation. “SHITFUCK,” was, I believe, my actual response. And yes, it actually does generally what I was going to do in chapter 3. The good news is, (1) I haven’t actually started writing, (2) it’s a pretty good article, (3) it doesn’t have the same scope that my chapter will have, and (4) now I don’t have to do the work that she did, and I can build on it instead. In the end, I think I spent about 2 hours in a state of panic & fear, and then I realized that it’s really ok – in fact, it’s probably good for me to have someone who has published well-articulated thoughts that I can respond to and build on.

One colleague, another grad student, said, “It’s ok. Just find what she did wrong and tear her up.”

I personally find the idea that everyone else is wrong and must be destroyed to be disgusting and horrible and counter-productive to scholarly conversation in the humanities. In my area of studies, it’s totally possible to have different, but equally plausible interpretations or explanations of the primary source materials (the data). I prefer to think of scholarship as collaborative rather than competitive, as building and improving on the work other scholars have done, and as a discussion. I think setting out to “prove someone wrong” or “tear someone up” is unnecessarily combative. 

Jacob Neusner, for example, was out of line, unprofessional and downright mean in his review of Shaye Cohen’s book The Beginnings of Jewishness. I won’t even bother citing the review, because it was largely an ad-hominem attack of a younger scholar by a famous and important older scholar. Neusner’s review did not impress me at all. It made me think he’s unprofessional and mean. It did not make me want to read more of Neusner’s work. It did not make me want to talk to him. It caused me lose almost all respect for the man, as a scholar and a human being. To be fair, I have never met Jacob Neusner, and I’ve certainly not read all of his books, and he has made some very important contributions to scholarship.

Likewise, I am not impressed by in-person attacks at professional conferences. It just makes the attacker look like an asshole. In short: there are respectful and professional ways to speak to and about the work of other scholars while challenging, critiquing and even disagreeing with or disproving their conclusions or methods. It is simply unnecessary and unprofessional to be an asshole.

*where “stupid articele” means “a pretty good article about my own topic, therefore I hate it for no good reason” and “stupid scholar” means “a well-respected scholar who writes well about what I wanted to write about and therefore I hate her for no good reason”

Academy Schmacademy

** the following was composed in 3/14/09 **
Today is a day of disillusionment.

I work very hard at my own research projects. I work very hard to prepare to teach my classes and to help my students. I make an effort to participate in the larger academic community here at Beach U and through national/international scholarly societies. As already noted I believe that my scholarship and teaching contribute to something bigger than my area of study or my dissertation – I believe that my scholarship contributes to a greater understanding of human experience and meaning, and I believe that I can teach critical thinking, reading & writing skills to students who will, as a result, be better able to participate in society (as voters, as parents, as human beings).

But you know what? My university doesn’t think I (or most of my colleagues) are worth supporting. I have received the bare minimum of financial support from my department and my university. Now, I know it’s a little ridiculous to expect “free money” and I DON’T. All I’m talking about here is tuition remission and salary to work as a TA or teaching associate.

I proposed 3 summer classes, all of which are regularly taught by advanced graduate students in the summer. I didn’t get any of them.

The basic Western Civ class in my department is split into 3 terms. I proposed to teach the ancient portions (Western Civilization, Ancient). I am one of a few people in my department who is both a specialist in ancient religions of the Mediterranean and actually interested in teaching the first term, the “ancient” part of the Western Civ series. They offered the summer class to a recent graduate — because he graduated he’s no longer under union contract and therefore cheaper. THEN, they canceled the class for the fall term, so I won’t be teaching that one either. Jerks.

** end previous post, which was never finished **

Since writing the above post I have been offered a job teaching basic writing composition – a 3 term contract, decent pay, tuition/fee remission and only one class of 25 per term. It’s a freaking great deal and I think it would be a great experience…. HOWEVER

I was just offered a year long fellowship, which includes a stipend and tuition/fee remission!! This is great news, and now I feel much more appreciated by both my department (which nominated me for the fellowship) and graduate division (which awarded me the fellowship).

So, this makes me fell a little bit better, but doesn’t solve or answer all of my concerns about the way that the university treats graduate students – especially graduate students in the humanities.

Focus? I need some.

I used Beach Univesrity’s Student Health Eye Clinic to order a new pair of glasses and to change the prescription in my sunglasses. I did so because it was fucking cheap and convenient (since Boyfriend and I only have one car – going to campus is easier than getting to any other glasses boutique). The glasses are all screwed up: first, prescription is wrong, go back, prescription is right, but doesn’t work for me, get re-tested, send glasses out again. Wait. Wait. now I’m waiting til next week to get them back.

Also: I feel totally brain dead today. It’s hot, I can’t focus on my work, and I’d rather be visiting with C and the baby.

Also The Second: The Millionaire Matchmaker is fascinating, satisfying, but also TOTALLY FUCKING HORRIFYING.

points 1 & 2: She’s hilarious when she tells men to date women who aren’t 20 years younger than they are and to get serious or get out of her club.

point 3: “Men should act like men and women should act like women. It’s worked for millions of years” (paraphrased).

She has this real thing about what men do and what women do – in a very patriarchal, horrifying and outdated sense.

UPDATE:

As of 5/25/09, my glasses are still not right, and are out at the lab again. I hope they’re ready tomorrow. **grumble**

RE: Mark C. Taylor’s NYT Op-Ed Piece

I read Mark C. Taylor’s NYT Op-Ed piece this morning. It kind of pissed me off.

I’m absolutely do not think that either abolishing tenure or enforcing mandatory retirement are going to solve the problems of the academy. In fact, I think it might be a really bad idea.

Prof. Taylor, do you really want the professorate to be a “7 year contract job”??? How will you get any commitment to or personal investment in an institution? Do you really want to look for a new job every 7 years? Do you really want professors to move & relocate their research every 7 years? That’s time & connections lost. Do you really want professors to uproot their families every 7 years? That’s probably 2 people looking for new jobs and kids in new schools, new scout troops, baseball teams, dance classes etc. I don’t want that. In fact, I think it SUCKS.

I for one, think we should be making the academy MORE family friendly, not less. I think we should be making it a better, happier & healthier place to work. I think universities & colleges should WANT faculty who are committed to their institution & students, and have a vested interest in it because it treats them well both as instructors/
researchers and as human beings instead of as brains on sticks. I think that’s actually the way to get professors to stay sharp at their jobs. If we expect a reasonable amount of work from professors rather than expecting them to cut out friends, family, sleep, etc. we might actually get professors who are better at their jobs overall.

The idea of finding a new job every 7 year and potentially moving to a new state every 7 years is particularly detrimental to women, especially those with children. 1. In hetero families, it is still typically the man’s job that determines family location and every time a hetero family has to move it is likely that the woman will be the one to take whatever job she can find. 2. Women are more frequently the family care-givers, still, which makes it likely that the woman will be the one managing more of move and making childcare arrangements (yes, I am aware that this is a generalization and that many of the fathers I know don’t like it any more than I do). 3. These 2 factors combine to make it likely that a woman’s earning potential falls, which is bad for the family, but also bad for her in the event of divorce or death of her spouse (God forbid).

However, I agree that it’s time to start training graduate students with skills and experience that are relevant outside of the university – but also that it’s time to stop treating graduate students as monkey-slaves who can do so much of the dirty work that is ESSENTIAL to the functioning of a univeristy (i.e. running lab research, teaching sections, grading papers, meeting with students and lecturing/adjuncting to teach courses as instructors of record for crappy pay, without good support (that is, offices etc.) and without benefits).

Taylor is right, something has to change. Nobody likes being treated like a brain on a stick, and we are producing PhDs faster than we can employ them in the academy, but I don’t think that abolishing tenure, enforcing mandatory retirement or shifting to 7 years contract exclusively are good ideas.